Tonight as I was driving home, I slowed down to the site of a large buck standing in the middle of the road.
It's antlers were large, though not fully mature, and it didn't run. It stopped and looked towards me, as the headlights of my car shone upon it's nutty brown coat. After a moment, (and as if without disturbance) it carried on into the forest beside the road.
I was really struck by this deer. I've heard of there being deer in Australia, but I think this was probably the first time in 5 years of living here that I actually encountered one. Seeing this buck took me back to memories of growing up in the Pacific Northwest were deer are native and prolific. Such a beautiful, strong and calming energy...
As I continued home, I returned to a sense that was with me at the start of my drive... a sense of needing to bring my extroverted energy back into myself. After a fair bit of socialising this weekend (in addition to two long and busy cafe shifts), my energy felt stretched, and somehow extended outward to the degree that I sensed needing to bring it back into myself.
When I got home, I turned off the car and just sat for a long moment breathing. Connecting to my body and Self... feeling the 'sigh' of being home amongst the trees, back to my sanctuary. I came to my room and tidied the clothes, books and bag that had been strewn about in my to-ing and fro-ing the last couple of days. I needed to feel clear and spacious, especially in my room.
I took a long shower, allowing the steamy water to wash over my body and through my being... sighing into the stillness of my inner world. I wondered about the symbology of the deer... and discovered these resonate things (according to various sites recommended by google):
In Celtic tradition, the buck is representative of the warrior archetype, a sign of power and strength.
In some Christian traditions, the buck is associated with a desire to be closer to God; a symbol of thirsting for purity and union with Holy Spirit.
In some shamanic/totem traditions the sighting of a buck is deemed to be a guide to your inner strength and renewal of your energies.
Other symbology includes:
Being in touch with Life's mysteries,
Sensitivity & Intuition,
Being able to move through life and obstacles with grace,
Being in touch with Inner Child,
Lately I've been coming to embody my androgyny more, and feeling the balance of the masculine and feminine within myself strengthen and expand.
I've been discovering the potency that comes when I allow my soft feminine self to surrender in trust to the masculine, and when the masculine creates a sense of strength and stability, allowing (and encouraging) the feminine to shine in all her radiance!! I'm feeling (in a very embodied way) what it is to 'stay stroft'... Strong + Soft... An inner resilience coupled with supple tenderness.
With nostalgia and gentleness,