This morning I went on a two-hour walk with a new friend, and at one point in the walk I knew I needed to stop.
I woken this morning to the start of my period, and was already going mindfully and slowly, but when I came to this spot, my body said stop.
Part of my journey towards creating 'Creative Sexuality' has been to deepen my relationship with my body's wisdom, the intelligence that lives in my bones.
And when I came to stop here on my walk this morning, I began to understand why.... this particular spot reminds me of the Pacific NorthWest where I grew up. It's the first time in 6 years of living in Australia that this land has brought such a visceral sense of home.
I sat down and tears gently streamed down my cheeks.
Another part of my journey in claiming my power and giving myself full permission to be all that I am, has meant accepting that my way of being doesn't resonate with my family. Being one of 12 children means that family relationships and ties are magnified... and it saddens me not to have them all as an active part of my life.
I let the tears come, and said a prayer for each person in my family (now 31 of us including my siblings spouses and children). I felt my womb ache, the shedding of possibility.
'Creative Sexuality' is more than just getting creative and sexy. It's about welcoming all parts of the self to the surface, acknowledging and giving ourselves permission to deeply feel our emotions, it's about cultivating a relationship with the intelligence of our bodies, and about remembering our divinity - that within us that is more than human.
While it's not always glamorous or easy, I'm grateful to be creating my own way through life. A way that allows for two-hour walks through nature in the morning, followed by many hours in bed listening to my body's need for rest, as I bleed. I acknowledge the great privilege that it is to be able to just 'be' today, and look after my needs. I'm grateful for this life I'm creating.