Capitalism is ruining sex... are you buying into it?


For far too long (and likely as a result of widespread capitalism), sex has become a 'commodity'. 

We've been taught and trained to believe that if 'male person' acts out 'x' behaviours they'll be rewarded with sex (without much regard for the human possessing the body they are getting said 'goods' from).
(I'm speaking in heteronormative terms, because this is one of the primary contexts that contributes to rape culture. As a woman who's been raped by I woman, I know firsthand that this is not the only scenario at play.)

This is a hard truth to swallow... but it's something we all need to examine if we want to live in a world free from sexual assault and violence. 

Sex has become a commodity. 

We know this because the sex industry exists; additionally, sex trafficking is said to be the 3rd highest grossing illegal industry in the world. 

What we often don't realise is how this mindset of commodity has infiltrated our minds and intimate relationships... 

Much of [the ‘abstinence-only’ education] movement can be summarised by the familiar old saying that men will not buy the cow when they can get the milk for free. That also summarises the analysis: women are livestock, valued for what they provide, not as partners. Their produce is milk, which is taken, bottled, and sold. Milk is fungible. When we drink milk, we care about its quality, but not about the identity of the cow. We may appreciate milk, but this does not extend to appreciation of the cow.”
— Thomas Macaulay Millar, Towards a Performance Model of Sex

When we look at it this way... we begin to see how insidious this mindset is, and the implications it has towards contributing to rape culture, and unhealthy intimate relationships. 

Subsequently, this leaves little room for discussion of queer sexual relationships. The commodity model is inherently heteronormative and phallocentric - requiring one person to 'give it up', and the other to 'get some'. ('It'/'some' being sex or sexual encounters; more crudely, pussy.)

This mindset spills over into self-pleasuring, relationships (romantic, sexual or otherwise), and impacts personal psychology and interactions with self as well. 

Consider masturbation and the role of pornography. 

It's often a commodity based experience... do this (to your body), get that (ejaculation, orgasm, sexual release). Pornography is a substitute for the absence of 'the cow' (a real human body to interact with or 'get some' from). 

My 1:1 coaching sessions are set up to empower men to access permission for all parts of themselves (acknowledging everything from the deviant to the divine), opening to greater pleasure in life and creating clarity on your core desires, owning your power in a healthy way, and stepping into a life of purpose.

Untangling the unconscious beliefs, social conditioning, and behaviour patterns of relating to self and others is key to the sessions I offer, and each session is intuitively crafted for every person I work with. 

With a passion for social change and personal empowerment, 


...the sexual interaction should be creative, positive, and respectful, even in the most casual circumstances, and without regard to what each partner seeks from it.
— Thomas Macaulay Millar